We are not all the same.

I am in love with a fictional character, and he is not real. For that reason, I can say or think a lot of unreasonable things about him. I can obsess, daydream, feel everything that character was built to make me feel. He was written for that, he was (brilliantly) interpreted so I would feel that. And I am thankful and appreciative of that fact.

What I won’t do is mix the fictional character with the very real person who brings him to life.

The actor is a person in the real world, and for that reason, he deserves respect and privacy. He is entitled to be off work, to walk the streets in peace, to not be filmed or photographed against his will. He has the right not to reply to invasive questions, not to be happy about all the crazy circus that fangirls (and boys) create because they don’t understand this crucial difference between a fictional character and the actor (and crew) who bring it to life.

That said, I devoured all the content related to my fictional character, several times over (I am not even sorry about it). I relate to him on a cellular level because, in some twisted way, we unfortunately went through similar experiences. So it’s like one soul watching another soul and understanding – even after I healed – how bad it once was. On top of that, he is gorgeous, has an amazing sense of humor, and an upper lip that would make me lose my mind and all sense of self.

Also, I can confess that I watched (almost) all the available content in the form of interviews, podcasts, and public appearances about this specific actor. Everything he willingly gave to this fangirl, I took. Amazed by how good an actor he is, and by some of the things he said – things so much more mature than his 26 years – that made me stop and reflect. I hope with all my heart that he can withstand Hollywood pressure and not have his soul crushed.

What I refuse to consume is anything taken without his consent. People please, just stop!

Videos, photos, gossip, speculation, comments about the fictional character using the actor’s name (cringe!)… anything that feels uncomfortable to me is, for sure, uncomfortable for him. So I refuse to watch or read it. It took my algorithm a few days, but it is adjusted now.

I will continue my fangirling at the age of 42. I am having so much fun with it.