For all the balance, routine, and positive, well-behaved vibes in my life, I carry an equal need for chaos and darkness.

Some days I can avoid it. I can be the well-behaved woman I was taught to be.
But other days—the days when boredom seeps into my bones—I cannot.

On those days, I become the empress of chaos.
I delight in everything that can burn bridges, crumble things to dust, make my actions reprehensible—and then share them.
Just to see.

Who stays after that?
Who walks through the darkness with me and remains?
Who doesn’t judge?
Who doesn’t show false morals or try to hold me to standards I honestly don’t give a damn about?

I want to be free.
I want to be able to detonate and rebuild my life as I see fit.
I want to trust myself enough to live life fully, as it was meant to be lived.

I will not cower in fear anymore.

So tell me, what do you do with that darkness?

You embrace it.