MUSINGS

Thoughts that I live by, soft sparks, and glimpses of my mind.

  • This

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  • The time I lost my mind

    Woke up again to those damn green eyes. Like poison ivy suffocating me, touching me everywhere. It is not the first time this has happened. While playing it cool on the outside, my mind is constantly pulled to those jade whispering eyes, like a scratched 80s vinyl record. I am not even sure when this…

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  • An essay on love

    You have to make peace with the fact that, sometimes, people don’t do it on purpose. They can love you and still hurt you, not because of you or something you did, but because of their nature. And although they can still love you, I wonder if they love you less. If that is the…

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  • Not all cried out

    Sometimes I sit in silence and cry for her. Have this need to cry for all the love she did not get, for the abandonment nights, for the neglect of her feelings. Need to cry for every time she thought it was her fault, she had needs that could not be met. For all the…

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  • Poetry

    We knew how this would end What it would cost us And we did anyway We played with fire and we both got burned The friendship we had before is gone Buried in the ashes of the mess we made This is the price we pay for lust But it was so much more than…

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  • Words matter

    I was very young, barely 13 years old, when I overheard comments about my body, my allegedly lifestyle, my teenage choices. Hurtful, malicious words spread out by people that should love me unconditionally. And that was the worst of it. If they thought that about me, what would strangers think? The self-loathing that followed was…

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  • Words matter

    The words of your favorite characters matter. You know it deep inside when, in a random Sunday afternoon while doing the dishes, your thoughts wonder on the concept of waiting for destiny for something to happen. And 10 seconds later, you hear her in your head: Destiny is for losers. It’s just a stupid excuse…

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  • Spellbound

    You know the exact moment where it starts. You might decide to ignore it, pretend it did not happen, make it smaller than it was, but below all those layers, you just know it was there It’s all in the eyes, you see. One random day, out of the blue, after 1h or 10 years…

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  • Current state of mind

    The word is Yes. I say it at anything. If an opportunity presents itself I take it. There’s nothing I won’t try once. – Chuck Bass. I blame the books.

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  • Vices of choice

    The day I stopped reading fantasy, I started drinking. There was no smooth transition from one to the other, just strangely realise. – “Why do you drink?” – He asked. A he that I do not really know the name anymore, if I must be honest. He is friend of a friend, I think. The…

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