MUSINGS

Thoughts that I live by, soft sparks, and glimpses of my mind.

  • Soulful Lines

    And then I sit here, in the garden of my childhood house, and I cannot tell anymore what kind of person I would be if my father were still alive.More confounding yet, I’m not sure if I could give it up for just one more day with him anymore. I used to think that; that…

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  • Soulful Lines

    Old objects bring me solace—small bits of memories encapsuled by hard exteriors; the hourly chime of the pendulum clock, the aluminum butter dish from my grandparents’ summer house, the ’80s coffee cups from my parents’ wedding gifts, the hundred portraits spread over all home surfaces. I like to be surrounded by it, the nostalgia, the…

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  • Clichés

    Nobody tells you.Nobody tells you that putting yourself first means putting others second, by definition. And for a lifetime people pleaser like me, that is a feat. A feat I am learning, but it takes time. Also, nobody tells you that accepting yourself as you are (another lovely cliché) is more difficult than it seems.…

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  • Soulful lines

    I lived to feel, just like an emotional junkie, until it hurt too much. So I start living for what I should feel; emotions suppressed, all in control. It also failed spectacularly. Now I am learning to accept that I should live for my gut feeling, however scary that may be.

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  • Soulful lines

    Books that spark memories will make you drown in emotions.

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  • Soulful lines

    The world is divided between those who understand the beauty of bathing in the blood of the people who did you wrong and those who don’t. I, unfortunately, belong to those who understand.

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  • One word

    I feel his eyes on me, again.It has been a habit since we started working together, even amid the crowded room where we heatedly debate this merger.I keep the silence as my weapon. I lean forward with my elbows on the table, slightly biting my fingers, while I wait for some kind of truce between…

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  • Soulful lines

    Living intensely, on the brink of burnout, while being a devoted mother. Nobody said it would be easy, but I will be damned if I don’t, at least, try it out. Just tell me, one more time, that it cannot be done.

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  • Soulful lines

    The concept of time never ceases to amaze me. In the same second that you wish it to move faster, you miss what you are already losing. There’s no winning.

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  • Dreading

    She died a thousand deaths before she was ready to assume defeat.For people like her, who never surrender, dying means nothing; it simply means you must keep trying, keep pushing.It took her so long to accept that sometimes death is not defeat, it’s a blessing. And you can choose it for yourself, even if nobody…

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