Did not write yesterday.

It was a conscious choice to read for 3h until pass I out exhausted of so many adventures.

I like to read, more than that, I need to read. When the reality tries to cripple in my bones and drag me down. Read allows me to escape, live other lives, experiment dangerous things. So there are days when I need the escape.

But because of that I did not wrote. Not here, not in my Portuguese blog, not on the book. And I woke up today feeling like shit! Feeling angry, frustrated, annoyed with the world.

Blamed my general bad humor in the morning, the kids that woke me up more times than they should during the night, my husband that did not stop talking…but in reality, that happens every day. And today my mood was shittier than usual.

So, as I always do, took my alone morning coffee in the office to think it through. And for that reason I know I can only blame myself. I want to live several lives inside this one, I want to do it all, my way, so I need to feel that I am going somewhere or else I feel that I am failing me. I am losing control.

So I need to write every day, to feel better. Since I decided that I would like to do that, and I don’t want to fail.

With this clarity in mind, and already absolving my self (kindly) for those indulging hours of reading. Today I will write. That’s the only thing I can do. Forget yesterday, focus on today.

And of course spend some energy trying not to punch people at the office. That is also a good compromise.